Father:  Laura, if you have sex, I will be able to tell.

Laura:  What?  How?

Father:  I’ll know because you’ll lose that special sparkle in your eye.

Laura:  What sparkle?

Father:  Every virgin has that glean in her eye, that special sparkle. 

Laura:  They do?

Father:  Yes.  When a woman is a virgin, it’s such a beautiful thing.  But when she has sex, she becomes damaged goods.

Laura:  But what about mommy?  She’s obviously not a virgin.  Does that mean she’s damaged goods?